All The Feels

All The Feels

Dear you,

I know it's been a while, but I hope life has been treating you well and all your dreams are coming true! AND it is officially SPRING, so happy first day of spring! 

YOU ARE A LIGHTNING BOLT. You are made to strike. You are made to impact.

Do you ever feel like what you're doing isn't enough? Do you ever feel like what you are doing goes unnoticed and unrecognized? Do you ever feel like if you could just be a little bit better then you can really make a difference? I have, *give me a sec while I raise my hand* to all of the above. And I'm not just talking in the distant past, I mean these thoughts were in my head just last week. And every time I think I've finally done it, I've finally gotten better, I've finally learned and think those thoughts won't come back...BAM! There they are. 

I used to feel bad when I would start thinking like that. I thought I was wrong because I was being selfish and prideful trying to get recognition. Truth is, we all want (or have wanted) recognition at one time or another. And wanting it doesn't make me a bad person. I had to learn though that I wasn't always going to get it from people, and I had to be okay with that. I had to stop relying on other people to make me feel good about myself or about whatever I was doing. When we rely on someone else to make us feel good we are giving that person control over who we are and how we act.

If I do something expecting for someone to tell me good job and that person doesn't tell me anything, I get hurt. I start to think 'how dare you not tell me good job for doing that' or 'wow she/he doesn't even pay attention to me.' And then I just decide to give up because I feel like I was already let down. BUT if I do something out of me, just to do it, not expecting anything in return, the whole situation changes. I'm happier doing it and if someone decides to compliment me well it's just a cherry on top. 

The thing is we have emotions. We have all the feels lol. We can't help that, that's just the way God made us. And He loves us like that. He loves our emotions (all of them not just the happy ones). He knows that we have a longing in our hearts. We want to belong, to be a part of something, to get recognition for being our awesome selves. We just lost ourselves along the way and forgot that He's the one who gives that to us. He is our sense of belonging. He recognizes us when no one else does. He doesn't miss a thing. He knows exactly who we are, He's just waiting for us to introduce ourselves and claim it. 

Remember, it's always a choice. Everyday, every moment, we get to choose how we're going to act and react. Just because we have some "bad" or "selfish" thoughts every once in a while doesn't mean we're bad people. It means we get to take those thoughts and make a choice in how we're going to let them affect us. 

You don't need someone else to give you recognition, God is all the recognition you need.

But I like recogniton just as much as the next person and it's always nice hearing it from someone lol so I want to be that person for you and tell you that all your hard work has not gone unnoticed! I see you and you are doing a heck of a job! 

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord 'plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11


Love Vanessa

P.S I'd love to hear your thoughts or questions if you have any! Please feel free to leave a comment in the section below. (I know that it may look complicated or ask you questons when you want to post the comment, but you don't have to fill anything out, there is a small phrase that pops up when you want to post a comment it says "comment as guest" just click on that and put your name if you'd like and you're good to go!)


Hat - Forever 21

Shirt - Forever 21

Bermuda jeans - Goldmorning

Shoes - Rue 21

Earrings - TJ Maxx

Lipstick - Fenty Beauty: shade 'Freckle Fiesta'